Here is the second part of a very funny e-mail I received regarding hurricane preparedness.


Hurricane Proofing your property


As the hurricane approaches, check your yard for movable objects like barbecue grills, planters, patio furniture, or visiting relatives. You should, as a precaution, throw these items into your swimming pool.


If you don't have a swimming pool, you should have one built immediately for this purpose. Otherwise, the hurricane winds will turn these objects into deadly missiles, and you don’t want Uncle Milton and Auntie Cherise flying through your neighbor’s front window.


HURRICANE SUPPLIES


If you don't evacuate the island, you will need a bunch of supplies.


But don’t buy them now!


Bahamian tradition requires that you wait until the last possible minute, then go to the store and get into vicious fights with strangers over who gets the last can of SPAM.


In addition to food and water, you will need the following supplies:


- 23 flashlights. At least $167 worth of batteries that you find out are the wrong size for the flashlights at the very moment the lights go off.


- Bleach. (No, I don't know what the bleach is for. Nobody knows what the bleach is for, but it's also part of Bahamian tradition, so get some!)


- A big knife that you can strap to your leg. (This will be useless in a hurricane, but it looks cool.)


- $35,000 in cash or diamonds so that, after the hurricane passes, you can buy a generator off the back of a pick-up truck from a man with no discernible teeth.


Of course, these are just basic precautions. As the hurricane draws near, it is vitally important that you keep abreast of the situation by turning on your television and watching US TV reporters in rain coats stand right next to the ocean and tell you over and over how vitally important it is for everybody to stay away from the ocean.


Good luck, and remember: It's great living in Paradise.