I know I shouldn't complain.


At least it's not cold. At least the coast road into town is bordered by some of the most beautiful harbor vistas you'll find anywhere. At least anxiety-producing promptness is a personal quality in short supply but very low demand on the island.


However . . .


Some mornings I drive my kids to school, about 2 miles toward town from where I live. Even considering the lack of legitimate reasons to complain, I still consider this one of the most frustrating activities anyone living here has to endure. (It is at this juncture that the Nassau non-resident asks, "Oh pray tell, but why?") So I'll tell you.


First, the facts.


Fact: The entire island is a mere 21 miles long, by 7 miles wide;
Fact: Carpooling is almost non-existent here;

Fact: The roads are narrow and usually only 2 lanes (one going one way, the other going the opposite);
Fact: There are about 180,000 people resident in Nassau;

Fact: About 179,050 of these live just around the corner from me;
Fact: These same people all have to be into work in the morning at the exact same time, which happens to be the same time my kids have to start school.


The practical result of all these factors is a huge traffic jam on Eastern Road . . . and John F. Kennedy Drive . . . and Bernard Road . . . and Johnson Road . . . and Fox Hill Road . . . and any other road that leads to town from the east.


I usually handle the sheer frustration by yelling at the kids, yelling at other drivers, and yelling at the inside of my car. It's not a pretty sight.


So, just to keep myself occupied for a while, I've decided to keep a log of my journies into school with the kids, marking down what route I took, what I saw along the way, and how long it took me to get there and back. Since traffic barely moves, I have plenty of time to jot things down on my yellow pad.


Keep your eyes peeled for this scintillating prose.